How do you seal an envelope?

This was a short essay I did as a sort of challenge issued by my best friend. Way back from 2012 even! It is completely ridiculous but I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it.



Pre-Sticky envelopes Vs. Lick-Sticky Envelopes

So, it was brought to my attention today, that there is a debate between these two camps.

In effort to present both sides in some amount of fairness, I shall attempt to give you the benefits of each. Then at the end of this short essay, I shall present my opinion.

Pre-Stickied Envelopes –

A Pre-Stickied envelope is a standard envelope, with a paper tab covering the tacky glue like substance that will seal the envelope when you peel off the tape. Doing this ensues a very secure seal and is harder to tamper with than other styles of envelopes. It is a much more sanitary way of sealing your envelopes. As there is no need for the sender to LICK a item going to another person! (seriously…its 2012, why do we lick objects??? I did that as a kid, except it was a flag pole, and I am sure apart of my tongue is still adhered to it.) Peeling the paper off the glue to seal your envelope is a much faster method than licking it is. Because of this, most businesses use this product. This style of envelope is convenient, as it is secure, clean, and quick.

Lick-Sticky Envelopes –

A Lick-Sticky envelope is also a standard envelope, it has water activated glue strip that is typically wet with the person’s or human’s tongue, or a wet sponge, then is sealed. This is the most classic way of sealing envelopes. Often used in personal letters, due to the more nostalgic feel of it. Some seem to have a strange fascination with the taste of the glue, and thus, lick them for the sake of that memory invoking sense. Licking an object to send to a loved one, is an odd way of showing affection, but is a personal stamp of that person’s affection. This way of sealing envelopes, is old-school and often a mark of someone who tends to do things the more classical way.

So…my personal opinion on this…

I LOVE the Lick-Sticky Envelopes so much more than a “peel and stick” version. I mean, really, what a way to say I love you…”hey, I found this envelope that lets me get it out of my life as fast as I can! I don’t even have to think anymore!” hey, but if that is you, at least you won’t be getting anymore weird (not to mention awkward to explain!) paper cutes on your tongue…
I find it more personal to send (or receive…) a Lick-Sticky than a “peel and stick” envelope, because I know it takes a moment longer and it takes some thought to do that. And, YES, the taste of licking a envelopes glue strip is a weird memory. What kid doesn’t remember mailing letters for Mom? Getting to lick the envelope, seal it, and run to the mailbox to flip up the red flag! So much fun for a child! Looking back and…man, I didn’t have to buy all those stamps. :P But my thoughts on stamps will have to wait till next time.
And till then…use Lick-Sticky envelopes! It’s a classic, its nostalgic, and nothing says ‘I care’ more than licking glue.

Please comment with your preference of sealing envelopes, or your experiences. Maybe you don't lick them or peel anything, maybe you are really classy and use wax and have your own personal seal?